3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
