Define "chronic" masturbator.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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