I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
