They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We are all done wearing pants today
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
