I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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