She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
