if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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