that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
