Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
