my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
