she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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