i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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