one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
