So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Farmville is her only friend.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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