so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
