Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
