giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
