I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
