ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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