so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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