Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
