it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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