One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
