I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's blow job season.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
