Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We were destined to go to rehab together
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
