I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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