Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
