he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize