You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize