She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
