So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize