I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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