i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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