dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
