Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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