Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
