just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
