Duck Duck Cougar?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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