Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
