talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
