I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
