Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
