Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
