someone threw a dead crab at me
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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