it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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