Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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