margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
