Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
