She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
