We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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