Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
