you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
