I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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