What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Please, let me fuck your mom
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
