This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
