I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize