I threw up into my coffee this morning.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
