I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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