Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
