I cockslap morals
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
