Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
